7 Tips for Self-Reflection

A new year is typically a time when new resolutions are made, and then promptly forgotten or broken. It’s a strange sort of ritual we are drawn to, each year hoping to be a better person in some aspect of our lives than we were the year before. Sometimes we take time to acknowledge the things we have accomplished, but mostly we make a list of things we need to change for the next year. If the past year has you in a space of feeling a need to make adjustments in your life, don’t miss a key aspect of personal growth: REFLECTION. 



What is reflection? When you reflect, specifically when you self-reflect, you set aside space to deeply consider matters, whatever you might have swirling around in your brian. You give yourself an opportunity to focus and filter through experiences and understand the next steps to process. Once you get there, just walk forward and let the journey begin. 


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Tips for Starting a Self-Reflection Practice

1. Find silence. This has less to do with a quiet space, although important, and more to do with letting your mind release thoughts that are keeping it busy. Set aside your devices so that distractions are not close at hand. Find an even breathing pattern and focus on your body pushing air in and out. Once you are more in tune with your body, take a few minutes to sit with a neutral image (for example, a vast sky with clouds passing by) in your mind and let nothing happen but that image. Watch the image until there is nothing but silence. This process allows you the space to start reflecting.
2. Moments matter. Make space to talk to yourself. Your inner self-reflection is telling you important things, despite any surrounding chaos. Talk to yourself as if you are a friend that can be trusted. Say the things out loud that you need to say, but don’t want others to hear. Ask yourself the questions that you try to avoid, and then listen for your own wisdom to guide you.   
3. Clearly connect. Tap into that thing that lets you connect with your emotions. Compartmentalizing difficult thoughts and emotions, whether they are big or small, is a natural response, but it can be more damaging in the long-term. Find what lets you come back to those tough emotions and find the strength to feel. Some people journal, others go for a run, or do yoga. It’s a unique space, and will look different for everyone. 
4. Re-evaluate your lens. Though being able to see yourself with all of your flaws can be helpful, if all you see are those flaws, there is no room for growth. Start by seeing the better aspects of yourself in situations rather than the worst. If you need help, ask a trusted friend for some feedback. Typically, we are hard on ourselves and could use someone else to point out the positive parts of ourselves we don’t see.
5. Consider it education. Whether it was a cataclysmic failure or a first step toward a massive win, your brain traces each moment as a lesson to catalog towards your next step. Assess the damage, collect the prizes, and then write down the most important takeaways from it all. 
6. Pivot your path. Once you recognize the negative thought patterns that were keeping you back, find a breakaway path. Worn down patterns are stubborn and often turn into mucked up trenches. Stepping out of them takes time and quite a bit of energy, but your new path can be the one that centers you more on the questions and answers that give you better confidence and clarity. For example, recognize when your inner dialogue stirs you towards words like never and always. “You will never be able to accomplish that goal.” “There will never be a time when things work out for you.” Start the shift here. Maybe tell yourself that you can accomplish the goal, but it will take much more time and effort than expected. Just directing the thoughts in the path you want to go helps persuade the rest of you to follow. 
7. Check up! Set reminders to check in with yourself and see how the journey is going. Google calendar is a great tool, but anything that is easy and gets your attention works. Little “check ins” give you a moment to remember how far you have come and recalculate where you want to get to in the future. 

Reflecting on your own journey is unique and personal. It involves insight, space, time and effort. You are the investment, and the value is knowing your personal worth. Never back down from it.

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